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Does Codependency Dominate Your Mother and Daughter Relationship?
From conception, the daughter depends on her mother. She depends on her for nourishment for her body and her Soul. Proper nourishing for her body will develop her into a healthy baby girl, and a proper nourishing of her soul helps her to have a peaceful state of mind. The Bible says in Proverbs 22:6, “Train up a child in the way he should go; and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” Mothers your training for your daughters starts at conception. You have nine intimate months to prepare her mind/Soul, before you introduce her to the World!We know that most daughters depend on their mothers for many years from birth to age eighteen. But, can a mother be codependent on her daughter? Cynthia Oliver, MAACP, Dean of Education, (Mother and Daughter Bible College), speaks on the effects of codependency from the mother’s perspective. Cynthia stated, “That in many mother and daughter relationships, their roles become reversed. The daughter becomes ‘parentified’ and the mother acts in the role of her daughter, as she uses her daughter to fulfill a void in her life.”Codependency is neediness or enslavement over another human being or thing. In such cases, mothers feel that they need the help of their daughters. She doesn’t realize that the quantity of responsibility can out weight the wisdom of her daughter and if she is a teenager, it can rob her of her youthfulness.When a mother rely on her daughter to clean the house, cook dinner, watch her siblings, help them with their homework, and get them ready for the bed, on constant bases, Cynthia suggests that these actions are signs of codependency. I realize as mothers we have to teach our daughters how to become a virtuous woman (Proverbs 31:10-31). But, teaching our daughters is one thing, and depending on them is another!There needs to be a balance in your relationship. In addition to your daughter helping you, give her some personal time and space to experience her feelings and emotions. Remember to listen to her and assure her that she can always come to you to share whatever she has on her mind. This will strengthen your bond, as the two of you build a healthy, loving and trusting relationship.How to improve your codependent relationships? To start, Cynthia suggests: “First, awareness (recognizing codependency behaviors), second, symptoms of ingrained habits (seek professional help or self-help groups), third, self-analysis (reflections on you and your mother-daughter relationship), will generate helpful insights.” Which can show you, who you have become. Now, you will be able to make the adjustments, for a healthier relationship with your daughter. Remember, we are mothers in progress, so do your best to make the appropriate chances!
Can hurt spread like a virus?
Did you know someone knows every aspect of your mother and daughter relationship? There are many facets of a mother and daughter relationship, and only God knows the answer. He knows the beginning and the end. He even knows the numbers of hairs on your head. (Matthew 10:30) God is careful to watch over His daughters. Many of whom He selects to become mothers. It is an honor and should be a pleasure to be a mother. As a mother, you get to mold and shape a human being, according to the will of God. Mothers, you must seek God’s will for your daughters. In doing so, you help fulfill His Kingdom. It is no accident you are her mother, and that she is your daughter. It was a part of His initial plan. God has His eyes on you, mother. The way you treat and speak to your daughter is being recorded for future accountability. Now you know of these things, it’s expected of you to repent and follow His will. You are to treat your daughters with respect, kindness, love, and forgiveness in every aspect of your relationship. You can no longer get by with; “I didn’t know!” Jesus said, “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” (Proverbs 22:6) He also said, “Every seed will produce more of its own kind.” (Genesis 1:11) Mothers your words are seeds planted into your daughter’s mind and she will bring forth that harvest! Mother when you hear God’s eyes are watching you, you’re first thought maybe to look up! God is in every human and that makes Him omnipresent! He sees you through the eyes of others, even through the eyes of your daughter! So, when you feel no one is paying attention, God is! Keep in mind mothers, when you look into your daughter’s eyes, you are looking into the eyes of God!
Is it important that a mother knows and understand her purpose?
Can the blessings of a mother influence the life of her daughter?
